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Gods of Egypt Review: bizarre

Gods of Egypt is a weirdly abysmal feature that borders on being actual entertainment but veers into being a total mess featuring incoherent storytelling and pacing as bad as the structure of this opening paragraph.

Alex Proyas’ ‘epic’ follows the Egyptian god Horus and the mortal thief Beck as they look to unseat the evil god Set from power whilst other even less interesting stories play out around them.

Story – D

Gods of Egypt fight

In a year where we will be feasting on two promising video game adaptations, Warcraft and Assassin’s Creed, Gods of Egypt may just be the most faithful adaptation. Its CGI and visual effects are laughable when compared to its monumental $140 million budget and don’t even stand up to video game animation. And its story, if one can call it that, takes the notion of boss battles and injects it with a whole load of steroids. The film follows a basic structure of one test after another one and whilst this always keeps the focus on action, it isn’t remotely interesting and gets old really fast.

Gods of Egypt desert snakes

And whilst Gods of Egypt is tailored for an encompassing audience, it has a peculiar fascination with Egyptian mythology. That may sound weird but Gods of Egypt takes its setting far too seriously, introducing the likes of Ra, the space worm, the disc world, the scales, the various gods and the creation of life. If you are reading this and find yourself pulling a quizzical and curious look, I implore you to watch Gods of Egypt simply to realise how silly and obsessed this film and its host of writers are with Ancient Egypt.

Action – C-

Gods of Egypt slow motion

The one saving grace of Gods of Egypt is that it knows its stupid, it knows it’s nothing more than a visual ‘spectacle’ manufactured for a general palette and easy enough to swallow down. Alex Proyas sees that and brings a swooping fast style of direction to his acting. On occasion it delves too far into the rapid cut style of Transformers losing all sense of movement and choreography. But the action sequences featuring Gerard Butler are genuinely entertaining because Butler brings a force to his movement and he, above everyone else, looks like he knows what Gods of Egypt will be, and he’s going to have fun with every moment of it.

Gods of Egypt is one of those bad films that everyone should watch. It is the perfect film for cynical moviegoers because it is teeming with plot holes – why did Horus climb up the tower instead of staying on the elevator apart from artificial drama? – and ludicrously indulgent action and mythos.

For all the hate Gods of Egypt is getting for whitewashing its cast, it should be getting hate for being the worst movie of 2016 so far.

Score – D+

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